Childhood memories of severe winter

 I cherish my childhood memories. My father was posted as Head master in a small town in Gurdaspur Distt which did not have electricity nor piped water facility . Winter used to be extremely cold and summer extremely hot but we never bothered about heat and cold as we had no better experience to compare with . We enjoyed sitting around the traditional Chullah fire in which wood was burned to cook the meals and heat water by my mother . Warmth of mother’s love would have an aura of heavenly bliss in that kitchen in which family chat sharing day’s experiences would make us oblivious about cold . These used to be our happy hours . After we would finish the meals another treat followed when our mother would ask us , the youngest children , to go and get into her bed so that it gets heated by the time she joined after finishing the remaining chores . How we loved that loving touch of being with mother even for a little while ! Sweetness and comfort of those winters still gives more warmth to my heart despite all the comforts available now . ❤️🌺❤️

है सत्य क्या?

 चल मन आज आसमान से बातें करते हैं , 

पूछा ,”तुम इतने ऊँचे और विस्तृत कैसे हो ?”

तो बोला , “ख़ाली हो जाओ तो हल्के होकर 

अपने आप ऊपर उठ जाओगे और मेरी तरह 

फैल जाओगे, फिर कभी सूरज के प्रकाश से

रौशनी फैलाते नज़र आओगे तो कभी चाँद - 

सितारों से जड़ित चादर जैसे झिलमिलाओगे,

कभी हिमकणो से भरे सफ़ेद बादल से और 

कभी पानी की बूँदों से भरपूर

काले बादल से ढक जाओगे , 

बरस जाने के बाद नज़र आओगे -

सुंदर पावन नीला अम्बर , 

जो असल में है बस ख़ालीपन, 

मेरा मन हो या तेरा मन  ,

हम सब में है कोई बहरुपिया 

 जो अजब तमाशा दिखा रहा है , 

  अलग-अलग से रूप रंग में 

सृष्टि की लीला  चला रहा है …

सूरज का है प्रकाश वही , 

आकाश का है विस्तार वही,

सागर की वह गहराई है , 

जीवन की वही सच्चाई है , 

लुका -छिपी के खेल खेल में 

सत्य के भेद बताता है ,

 और सत्य की ही राह से वह 

 सत्य तक पहुँचाता है ….!”

- @Sudesh Prakash

 Once upon a time .....simple life , rich joys ❤️

Tibri ,just three Kms away from our hometown Gurdaspur ,the banks of Upper Bari Doab canal , was our breathing space,our life line where we would go every now and then to have heavenly family picnic . Upper Bari Canal taking off from Ravi River at Madhopur Barrage is an irrigation canal , would carry icy cold waters in summers that served as  freezer to cool the mango packs we used to  carry . Tonga ride to Tibri was another source of amusement . 

This was the place where all the fairs like Baisakhi n Teej used be held ; we watched real Bhangra n Gidhha teams from various villages performing in authentic spirit.

Similar picnic spots nearby were Madhopur and Aliwal where network of canals served to sooth , body , mind and soul in summers . 

 I had my schooling and college education in Gurdaspur. Indebted to my family , teachers and friends for their precious presence in my life . 

Those were the days ....simple joys

We had a big jamun Tree in our rented house in Gurdaspur which used to be full of Jamuns in summer rainy season and children from neighborhood would go upstairs all noon , not letting us rest , to have their fill and carry home too . Those were the times people planted fruit trees in their homes and in neighborhood for the birds and delighted to share with all people . 

We had a poem in our Panjabi text book in class 6 th about  games children play with elderly house  lady sneaking into her house to pluck Berries n how she reacts with anger outwardly but inwardly loving their play with her -

Oh kiddar gaye digarhe, jad chhato de pichhwarhe San ber chhato de khande, has has ke galan khande .... 

We loved that poem n used to sing in group with friends . Happy childhood memories ❤️ 

 Our experience - Pondicherry Visit 

-------------------

Visit to Pondicherry was a part of our month long tour of south India with family in the year 1982. The moment we entered the city ,there was a feeling of having reached a heavenly place . The city had the vibrations of the peaceful presence of Sri Aurbindo Ghosh and The Mother . The sea side location and influence of French architecture lend a special charm  to the city . 

At night we visited the Ashram where The saintly Sri Aurbindo Ghosh and The Mother had once lived and which houses their samadhis too . An air of divine peace enveloped the whole area .It is so true  that peace prevails eternally where a noble soul has travelled or stayed. It was ,indeed ,a memorable experience to breathe in that pious air.

We stayed in the Mothers' International Hostel  ,which was very impressive,comfortable and peaceful . At night our three year old younger son developed very severe diarrhea and we got scared in that strange place where we knew no doctors . 

On consultation we were advised to go to the nearby residence of a Bengali Doctor , a child specialist . It was 10 p.m. when we approached him ,he was very kind to open the gate,check the child and give medicine . He told us that it was the water of the city which caused  that particular problem and advised us all to take boiled water only. The medicine worked well .The old doctor left an indelible mark of his noble presence on us.

The most heart touching part was that he did not accept any fee saying that he would not charge anything from guests in the city . These are the angelic characters  who strengthen our faith in humanity .Ever since this noble gesture of the doctor lives in our heart .

 Next day we were to travel to Auroville -an International village based on Sri Aurbindo Ghosh's  dream of achieving world peace through  community living , where according to his idea thinkers  from various nations would live ,interact to find ways and means to achieve World peace . It was our cherished dream to visit this village but that was not to be  because of my sick child . My husband along with my elder son did visit it and shared their views with us . The concept is ,indeed ,excellent but lot more needed to be done to realize the wonderful dream at that time . 

We had another interesting experience .We met a young doctor in a restruarant  who very keenly listened to our tour experience ;  and finally asked us what was our gain in spending so much money on the tour which could have fetched us a plot of land .

Well ,that is a matter of individual perspective we told . Everything can not be evaluated in material terms . For us the joy we experience ,our exposure to people,places and cultures and memories we make are invaluable . And we have never regretted our decisions .There is so much to see in India and the world that one life is not enough .

REFLECTIONS

The river of our love

 has been flowing silently,

moving onwards without

 any demands or expectations; 

Enabling us to meet all the 

challenges with dignity;

I am sure, it will continue 

to sustain and nourish us

with its sublime serenity, 

till the river of life 

flows into the ocean of eternity.

- @ Sudesh Prakash 

flower

Hope 

As long as there is a blue sky , 

As long as the birds fly,

The rivers flow and

The wind blows , 

There is nothing 

to feel sad about ,

There is Joy in life .

As long as there are 

the sun and moon , 

As long as the flowers bloom ,

It rains and snows,

The forests grow, 

There is nothing 

to feel bad about , 

There is Hope in life .

As long as there is 

love in the heart , 

As long as there is 

music and art, 

And friends to standby,

A shoulder to cry ,

There is nothing

 to get mad about , 

There is Love  in life 

There is Beauty in life 

There is Hope in life . 

- @ Sudesh Prakash

Tearful goodbye to a childhood friend

 This morning brought a very sad news of having lost a very close childhood friend based in Jalandhar , Tripta . This shook me from top to bottom . 

We were four close friends who studied together from class sixth till graduation. Thereafter she got married in a business family in Hoshiarpur and we three joined post graduation in P. U. Chandigarh. 

This friendship was the purest relationship , without any formalities , any expectations , never any exchange of gifts . There was complete freedom of sharing life , beauty , joy , love , ideas and all the good things . We would visit each other’s houses , were loved and welcomed by each other’s families  .  We were champions of women empowerment, equality in education , equal rights , choice of career as well as life partner . I always felt that we were four torch bearers   to lead the right Way . 

After getting settled in life , our career and families kept us so busy that we never got time to meet but never parted in reality , always felt closest to each other even without interactions . 

During my visit to my home town Gurdaspur with my family two years back  on the insistence of my children I wondered whom to visit to connect my children with the feel of  hometown as we have no relation left there . I googled and found the connection with Bal Krishan , the nephew of this friend of mine ( This family has always been a highly influential n well known business family ) and contacted him . I feel so proud to say that our visit felt like home coming as we were greeted like their own family and their hospitality renewed our emotional bonds . 

I got her phone no . , called her , she insisted that we visit her to stay with her for at least two days in Jalandhar to share all that had passed in between the gap but that was not to be . 

Bal krishan broke down while giving the news today and we both shared that sacred bond with teary eyes for some moments . I am glad that I have a family in Gurdaspur to say my

Tearful Good bye dear Sakhi .❤️

Maha Prasthaan,The Path of the Great Departure -- Draupadi's final journey

After having purged the earth of evil,changed the course of history,raised a child to be a true king,feeling their spirits withered with the exit of Krishana,the Pandvas felt they had been rendered unnecessary,so they decided to set out for Maha prasthaan- The Last journey to die in the secret recesses of the Himalayas . Draupadi insisted to go along with them despite every one ,her husbands ,the sages,Prikshit ,others in the palace,the public in general insisting that she should stay back  ;as it was the most treacherous path which even the bravest feared to tread  n no women had ever attempted  to undertake. They were not to carry any food,clothing,any other belonging or weapens to protect themselves from wild animals.She was told that If she ever fell by the roadside no one could stop to help,such was the implacable law of the final journey.

But more they  dissuaded Draupadi to change her decision ,more determined she became ,that had always the problem with her she felt,to rebel against the boundaries prescribed for women by society.She wished for a sudden n clean end worthy of bard-song -' when she fell she did not weep but only raised her hands in brave farewell'.
Clad in beaten tree bark without any jewellary she gazed back Hastinapur one last time in farewell leaving behind wailing family ,friends n people,the palace,marble buldings ,blossomed beautiful trees but surprisingly all these things which would have made her happy in younger days did not move her ,she felt totally detached .The sages guided them to the base of the Himalayas.Beyond that only  a person who had given up the world forever could enter.
The path was narrow n untravelled,cluttered with snow n slush.In a few hours her feet lacerated though they did not bleed because of the cold.She began to lose sensation in her feet,breathing became difficult,it was hard to advance ,to her feet from the snow that sucked them .She called her husbands but realized they gone far beyond her. Arjun was the farthest . Bheem n Yudhishtir heard her but as Bheem turned to get her ,Yudhishir held his hand n stopped to remind him the law that once on the path one could not retrace steps no matter what happened.Resentment flared up in her ,rules were always more important to him than humanity .
While taking the next step she flew into the air n fell a few arms away on a rock covered with snow ,she heard her husbands' crying out loud followed by a commotion,she could hear Yudhishtir, murmuring words of  consolation but reminding them of their greater goal. It was infuriating n mortifying for her. She had five husband but none of them came near her. She believed they never loved her,nor did she love them though she had served them religiously . She felt had she married a man who loved her n whom she loved ,he would have been with her all thru her last hours till they both perished .Had she tried ,she might have got up n walked upto her husbands but what for ,to listen to another moral story !So she decided to lay there waiting for the end .
 How should she spend the last hours of her life,she asked herself ?
Should she remember her past mistakes n practice contrition ? -no perhaps she had made too many errors she thought n there was hardly any time to reflect on all.

Should she  forgive those who harmed her n  seek  forgiveness from those whom she had harmed but that would be a fatiquing exercise she thought ; n of what use , all of them are dead now.

She thought she would try to remember all those whom she had loved n  who loved her ; pray for them wherever they are -dead or alive ,Dhri ,her brother,Dhai Ma, her children n Prikshit but  then she thought she could hardly do anything for them as her whole life had been a rush of attending to the needs of her five husbands ,how ironic that none of them was with her in her final hour when she needed them most .She lay there left alone to die on a frozen hill.

It began to rain n she felt icy needles piercing her face ,the only part of her body which could feel sensation .To distract her mind from pain she settled her mind on KRISHANA .She remembered how he loved rain n how together they enjoyed watching  the dancing peacocks in the rain.

'So finally you thought of me' ,She heard Krishana's soft .sweet voice near her but could not move her head or hands to see or touch Him.She thought she was imagining things but He told her she was not imagining , He was real n wanted to know what  she was doing there  .

She said she was dying n praying so that she was not taken to the Hell Fires .

Krishana asks her not to think about hell fires which is distressing ,instead to  concentrate on the happy moments she had enjoyed in life .
"why have you come so late?" she asks
" But I have always been there whenever you remembered me "said Krishana

Draupadi considers the joyful moments of her life n finds one after the other these were only the most distressing times of her life n in all such time it was Krishana who had appeared with His captivating sweet smile ,soft voice n healing Presence which everytime made her joyful ,stood by ,energised  n inspired her to move on in life .
He was always there with His unconditional love without any demands n unlike others  without expecting her to behave or live in a particular way .

Going back in time she remembers a red Light pushing her out ,she was not in a room ,she had no name n no form n a soft voice asking her to go forth as it was her turn to go . She remembers how comfortable n safe she was as a part of that light n how hesitant to move n worried ,she had asked 'Can I change history ,what about the sins I would incur ,being the cause of so much devastation ?'

The voice  gentle as a brook said 'You are the instrument and I am the Doer so no sin can touch you."
?"
'What if I forgot it ?"' said Draupadi

"You will probably forget ,most of them do .That is the beguiling trick that this world plays . You will suffer for that-or dream that you are suffering.But no matter ,at the time of death I will remind you.That will be enough." and with this somebody pushed her lovingly n the flame materialised as Draupadi.

She sees Him smiling .He is happy that she had made a connection.

'I did forget ,n made a mess of everything ,did'nt I 'She asks Him.

"You did what you were supposed to .Played your part perfectly.' He said.

Then she felt  there was Light everywhere,total absence of darkness,mountain had vanished ,the air was full of figures of light ,with some effort she could recognise Kunti,her father,Dhai Ma ,Shikhandi,Drona ,Bheeshama, Duryodhan n four of her husbands n others -all smiling evincing the satisfaction of having played their roles well in  great drama.
"Is this real or am I seeing things ?"she asked.
"Skeptical to the last !It is real ,you are going to have to learn a whole new vocabulary for the things you will be undergoing shortly.For now let me say that each person experiences this moment differently."says Krishana
"Am I dying? " asks Draupadi
'You could call it that, continues Krishana, you could also call it waking , or intermission between two acts.."

"Are you really divine "she asks finally the question that has been always bothering her all her life
.
'Will your questions ever end ?" Smilingly he answers," Yes I am n so you are,you know "

His words baffle her .with her body dissolving away,her thoughts fraying ,she felt that she was nothing.
Krishana touched her hand ,in fact those pinpricks of light which seemed like hand,at  His touch something broke,a chain that was tied to that woman shaped body crumpled on the snow below.
She felt she  was buoyant .expansive and uncontainable-but  that she always was so ,only she never knew.

Mothers, Day special from the heart

Parting  blessings to the family.

A mother is she who can take place of every one else but whose place no one else can take. She is not an individual,she is an institution who runs life . She does not give love,she is love personified ,the source of energy that sustains family .
I do not remember my mother ever kissing ,hugging or verbalizing her love for us as she had no time for that . She poured out love in all that she did from early morning which engaged her all the time she had ,be it milching cattle,churning curd,cooking , serving,upkeep of the house ,looking after everyones needs, till she went to bed at night .
We had a cow n a buffalo till she lived who would not allow anyone to touch them except her for the love of her touch . Her love encompassed each n every living being who crossed her life ,be it family,relatives,friends,strangers, helpers or animals - she loved all n all loved her.I saw tears welling out her eyes when she received n replied letters from/to my brothers or cousins . Our house was always bubbling with energy n activity n she could be seen running about all smiles thru out the day; but every night when everyone slept she would cover herself with a sheet in a meditative posture n I would watch tears flowing from her eyes ,though I feigned to sleep.Perhaps that was the time to share life's reality with the creator n seek strength n energy to move on.
For me her care included special attention when I would be unwell,preparation of some special dish when I would not eat what was meant for all,appreciation of whatever little work I would do to help her,ordering a special dress for me during one of my serious illnesses n carrying me in that dress to see Dussehra in pram as I was too weak to walk. Sometimes I feel May be I felt sick often just to seek her attention n to be near her.
Once she sent me (I was just eight years) with my younger siblings to a fair with a neighborhood family n gave a rupee (a rupee in those days had lot of value) to buy whatever my siblings desired,I bought them whatever they asked for n on return gave back the remaining fifty paise to her . She asked me why I did not buy anything for myself ,when I told her that I did not need anything ,tears that flowed from her eyes are my prized possession till date.
In class eight we used to have early classes for Board's Exams , a boy started stalking me to n fro the school ,I was extremely scared n did not know to deal with the situation ,could not share with anyone apprehending misunderstanding about myself. I suffered the trauma for a fortnight but as a keen observer she hugged me n questioned me one day on my return from school as to what was bothering me, I cried n told everything.She encouraged me to face the situation boldly n strongly telling me that all wrong doers are cowards n run away when confronted n never be scared of anyone under any situation. Next day I confronted the idiot with my shoe ,shouting at the top of my voice giving him a piece of my mind ; the way he ran for his life emboldened me to face life courageously .That is what a mother does.
The values she instills are ur valuable assets in life . Who teaches us love,honesty,integrity,trust,goodness,truthfulness,perseverance,compassion,kindness,sharing, justice ,high aspirations,sacrifice ,justice,faith in self ,life n systems ?
Her untimely demise shook the family ,leaving us broken n shaken ,all of us tried to connect the broken threads n move forward in life.We were taught the most difficult lessons by life - pain of impermanence
,disease ,loss of a dear one n acceptance of events as they occur at an early stage . Ur needs of life can be met but no body can fill the vacuum a mother 's absence creates.
We see in films that a mother visits the craving child in dream when there is desperate need . I experienced it personally . When I took up my job ,I was sharing an apartment with a colleague. Once I fell seriously ill with influenza ,was running high temperature ,remained bed ridden for days with no one to look after or care . Bread n tea was the only food available for days with heavy antibiotics n medication. My colleague would leave me locked the whole day till she came back . I was too weak even to cry n craved to have simple home made food . It was then that my mother came in my dream for the first time since her death; bringing a plate with hot moong dal n a hot fresh chapati prepared by her,took me in her lap n fed me with her hands . My hunger had been satisfied ,I felt healed n happy.It was such a fulfilling treat for my sick soul n body which is as fresh to me today as it was on that day. I still do not believe it was a dream ,There can be no truth more than this truth.
That is a Mother -she has the Earth,the sky, the ocean n the universe in herself, the Presence that delights n inspires.

Happy Mothers Day -Mothers' day special from my heart
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

A mother is she who can take place of every one else but whose place no one else can take. She is not an individual,she is an institution who runs life . She does not give love,she is love personified ,the source of energy that sustains family .
I do not remember my mother ever kissing ,hugging or verbalizing her love for us as she had no time for that . She poured out love in all that she did from early morning which engaged her all the time she had ,be it milching cattle,churning curd,cooking , serving,upkeep of the house ,looking after everyones needs, till she went to bed at night .
We had a cow n a buffalo till she lived who would not allow anyone to touch them except her for the love of her touch . Her love encompassed each n every living being who crossed her life ,be it family,relatives,friends,strangers, helpers or animals - she loved all n all loved her.I saw tears welling out her eyes when she received n replied letters from/to my brothers or cousins . Our house was always bubbling with energy n activity n she could be seen running about all smiles thru out the day; but every night when everyone slept she would cover herself with a sheet in a meditative posture n I would watch tears flowing from her eyes ,though I feigned to sleep.Perhaps that was the time to share life's reality with the creator n seek strength n energy to move on.
For me her care included special attention when I would be unwell,preparation of some special dish when I would not eat what was meant for all,appreciation of whatever little work I would do to help her,ordering a special dress for me during one of my serious illnesses n carrying me in that dress to see Dussehra in pram as I was too weak to walk. Sometimes I feel May be I felt sick often just to seek her attention n to be near her.
Once she sent me (I was just eight years) with my younger siblings to a fair with a neighborhood family n gave a rupee (a rupee in those days had lot of value) to buy whatever my siblings desired,I bought them whatever they asked for n on return gave back the remaining fifty paise to her . She asked me why I did not buy anything for myself ,when I told her that I did not need anything ,tears that flowed from her eyes are my prized possession till date.
In class eight we used to have early classes for Board's Exams , a boy started stalking me to n fro the school ,I was extremely scared n did not know to deal with the situation ,could not share with anyone apprehending misunderstanding about myself. I suffered the trauma for a fortnight but as a keen observer she hugged me n questioned me one day on my return from school as to what was bothering me, I cried n told everything.She encouraged me to face the situation boldly n strongly telling me that all wrong doers are cowards n run away when confronted n never be scared of anyone under any situation. Next day I confronted the idiot with my shoe ,shouting at the top of my voice giving him a piece of my mind ; the way he ran for his life emboldened me to face life courageously .That is what a mother does.
The values she instills are ur valuable assets in life . Who teaches us love,honesty,integrity,trust,goodness,truthfulness,perseverance,compassion,kindness,sharing, justice ,high aspirations,sacrifice ,justice,faith in self ,life n systems ?
Her untimely demise shook the family ,leaving us broken n shaken ,all of us tried to connect the broken threads n move forward in life.We were taught the most difficult lessons by life - pain of impermanence
,disease ,loss of a dear one n acceptance of events as they occur at an early stage . Ur needs of life can be met but no body can fill the vacuum a mother 's absence creates.
We see in films that a mother visits the craving child in dream when there is desperate need . I experienced it personally . When I took up my job ,I was sharing an apartment with a colleague. Once I fell seriously ill with influenza ,was running high temperature ,remained bed ridden for days with no one to look after or care . Bread n tea was the only food available for days with heavy antibiotics n medication. My colleague would leave me locked the whole day till she came back . I was too weak even to cry n craved to have simple home made food . It was then that my mother came in my dream for the first time since her death; bringing a plate with hot moong dal n a hot fresh chapati prepared by her,took me in her lap n fed me with her hands . My hunger had been satisfied ,I felt healed n happy.It was such a fulfilling treat for my sick soul n body which is as fresh to me today as it was on that day. I still do not believe it was a dream ,There can be no truth more than this truth.
That is a Mother -she has the Earth,the sky, the ocean n the universe in herself, the Presence that delights n inspires.

Colours of Holi

I was born in spring season ,the season of colours ,beautiful flowers all around n lovely coloured trees with new n tender leaves .Colours do fascinate me ,  I believe Holi is celebration of  the colours of nature n colours of life . It is generally a loud n boisterous festival  , I love the zest n enthusiasm of people but I have always liked to be a distant spectator only . Beauty of India is that every celebration finds expression n manifestation of joy in various forms n u can choose the one of ur liking .
Just like the diversity in every aspect of life in India , we find a wide variety in the ways n forms this festival is celebrated in various parts of india  . While in Delhi ,once we went to see Holi Celebration thru Kathak Dance organised  at the Famous  Kathak dancer Birju Maharaj's Dance Academy .It was a three hour breath-taking classical experience depicting Krishan-Radha  with Gopis involving about 200 students playing Holi with Gulal , flowers n  saffron - water with soulful  semi- classical,classical  folk music of Braj,Barsane n Mathura in the back round .
One of the most memorable form of Holi  we enjoyed has been the one  our close friends' from western  U.P. taught us . The couple would prepare sumptuous Dahi- Bhallas n very tasty Gujias a week in advance n every day they would bring some for one group of colleagues ; n this way by the time Holi arrived all the staff-members   would have had the feast of their love thru these items.On the Holi day they would visit all friends' residences playing  Holi with Gulal . In the evening we would be invited to their place to enjoy more  delicasies prepared at home by them .It was ,indeed, their love that connected everyone ,no one would ever forget their loving way to celebrate the festival.And they taught us that of all the colours ,the colour of love is the most beautiful .

Today at this age n stage ,most of us rarely go out for celebration.We just sit at home n keep playing remote to see if there  is anything worthwhile watching on T.V. so that we may participate at least passively to get the feel of the day . Seriously, there is nothing on the commercial channels to enjoy -all noisy, superficial n insipid stuff; but thankfully at times Doordarshan ,D.D. Bharti ,Loksabha n RSTV do bring some good programmes -litrary,cultural n classical to nourish ur taste buds .

We were lucky to get to enjoy today a Classical Holi  on RSTV under' Guftgu'  with Padam Vibhushan Pandit Channu Lal ji from Varanasi.He sang about Lord Shiva's unique  Holi besides other beautiful renderings.This was followed by melodious folk singing by Malini Awasthi. It was, indeed, very uplifting n fulfilling to hear  melodious , soothing n interesting compositions .
This made our day.
Happy Holi To all. May ur life be immersed in the beautiful  colours of  love ,peace n happiness.

In Paradise Kashmir

In India marriage of a girl  is  an issue that  starts weighing on the parents right from the time the child is born and continues to disturb the peace of the family all thru life .I believe all the evils  related to the girl child-female foeticide,child marriage,dowry deaths ,suicides and domestic violence are the harrowing shadows surrounding a girl's marriage.Though all the problems can not have one solution but right education and economic independence of the girls are two major solutions in this direction.
Marriage was no priority for me.It has been my firm belief that  a girl must be educated ,join a profession ,be economically independent and lead an independent life for sometime to know the self as well as life before getting married and I followed what I believed.I knew the need and importance of marriage but I was very clear that I would marry a person of my choice only ,one who  shares the same philosophy n marries me for what I am;  I was  also determined to marry without any dowry. Economic or social status,material possessions,caste ,creed,religion had no importance,what I looked for was love ,peace,understanding ,happiness and harmony in relationship which I generally found missing .
Our dream came true,we found each other , got married in 1972 to set out on a journey which ,we knew ,was going to be very challenging.Whatever little savings I had ,were just adequate to equip our sweet home to start with. .There was no back up,no support and yet we just wanted a break and vanish into the paradise ,away from all the worries n conflicts of life. This break was essential to energise us to face the challenges which were waiting to test our strength. There was enough of adventurous spirit and courage of conviction in both of us.I received some amount of money as shaguns -sending off gifts from my relatives which was enough to fulfill our wish.
So we set out on a journey to  Kashmir valley .They say if there is  heaven on earth ,it is here,it is here..You had to be there to believe it.I do not know the state of affairs now ,ever since it has turned into a valley of terror but I really feel so happy that we were a part of this paradise for ten days which was truly a heavenly experience .
We stayed at a hotel along the Dal Lake which itself was a great experience as we could enjoy the beauty of the grand view of the nerve- soothing peaceful vast expanse of water n listen to the embalming music of the waves day n night.Srinagar has vast, beautiful lakes and river Jhelum which lend a heavenly charm to this place .The Kashmir Valley is a lacustrine plain surrounded by snow-clad high mountain ranges presenting a charming view all around -a treat to the  Eyes.There used to be palatial House boats having all the royal facilities the rich .And there were lovely small beautifully decorated boats called Shikaras in which two loving souls could relax silently and experience the beauty of the river of life if it is allowed to flow its own way uninterrupted by our unnecessary fears ,anxieties and plans. Out of the ten  days, we spent four days boating on  the  wonderful Dal And the Beautiful Nagin lakes  hiring the shikaras for full days.The  Kashmiri Kahva offered by simple Shikara wallahs would upllift our spirits and their simple tales from the area touch our heart..Shalimar Bagh,Nishat Bagh n Char Chinar represented man's effort to add beauty to the place  . The other fascinating tourist spots in the neighbourhood were the beautiful temperate meadows-The Yus merg,the Gulmerg and the Sona merg.Sona merg had a beautiful glacier nearby which was another marvel of nature.
We would board Deluxe buses of the state tourism early in the morning at around 6.00 a m. n come back at around 10.00pm.So the major problem we faced was that of food.Early morning ,while going  n after ten p.m.we  would not find any food near our hotel.Somehow  at that time ,even at the well known tourist places we did not find good eating places but feast that beautiful nature offered to the soul was more than a compensation.An interesting experience we had was at Khilanmerg where we went by ponies from Gulmerg.This place is at a ht. of 14000ft. and there we found a small dhaba run by a Sardarji who was making the famous punjabi aloo-Parantha whas being offered with curd n butter .We still remember the taste of  that heavenly food .Pahalgam was the only place which was developed and had good eating places.Achhabal n ,Kukarnaag,were other lovely spots which still fresh on the screen.The Saffron fields at Sopore in all their beauty n  historical remains of Avantipur still haunt us.

The beauty,serenity and peace of the paradise has always been a part of our strength.Nature is always beautiful and blissful but we  enjoy only if we are at peace with ourselves.
Where is paradise -within us or outside?