After having purged the earth of evil,changed the course of history,raised a child to be a true king,feeling their spirits withered with the exit of Krishana,the Pandvas felt they had been rendered unnecessary,so they decided to set out for Maha prasthaan- The Last journey to die in the secret recesses of the Himalayas . Draupadi insisted to go along with them despite every one ,her husbands ,the sages,Prikshit ,others in the palace,the public in general insisting that she should stay back ;as it was the most treacherous path which even the bravest feared to tread n no women had ever attempted to undertake. They were not to carry any food,clothing,any other belonging or weapens to protect themselves from wild animals.She was told that If she ever fell by the roadside no one could stop to help,such was the implacable law of the final journey.
But more they dissuaded Draupadi to change her decision ,more determined she became ,that had always the problem with her she felt,to rebel against the boundaries prescribed for women by society.She wished for a sudden n clean end worthy of bard-song -' when she fell she did not weep but only raised her hands in brave farewell'.
Clad in beaten tree bark without any jewellary she gazed back Hastinapur one last time in farewell leaving behind wailing family ,friends n people,the palace,marble buldings ,blossomed beautiful trees but surprisingly all these things which would have made her happy in younger days did not move her ,she felt totally detached .The sages guided them to the base of the Himalayas.Beyond that only a person who had given up the world forever could enter.
The path was narrow n untravelled,cluttered with snow n slush.In a few hours her feet lacerated though they did not bleed because of the cold.She began to lose sensation in her feet,breathing became difficult,it was hard to advance ,to her feet from the snow that sucked them .She called her husbands but realized they gone far beyond her. Arjun was the farthest . Bheem n Yudhishtir heard her but as Bheem turned to get her ,Yudhishir held his hand n stopped to remind him the law that once on the path one could not retrace steps no matter what happened.Resentment flared up in her ,rules were always more important to him than humanity .
While taking the next step she flew into the air n fell a few arms away on a rock covered with snow ,she heard her husbands' crying out loud followed by a commotion,she could hear Yudhishtir, murmuring words of consolation but reminding them of their greater goal. It was infuriating n mortifying for her. She had five husband but none of them came near her. She believed they never loved her,nor did she love them though she had served them religiously . She felt had she married a man who loved her n whom she loved ,he would have been with her all thru her last hours till they both perished .Had she tried ,she might have got up n walked upto her husbands but what for ,to listen to another moral story !So she decided to lay there waiting for the end .
How should she spend the last hours of her life,she asked herself ?
Should she remember her past mistakes n practice contrition ? -no perhaps she had made too many errors she thought n there was hardly any time to reflect on all.
Should she forgive those who harmed her n seek forgiveness from those whom she had harmed but that would be a fatiquing exercise she thought ; n of what use , all of them are dead now.
She thought she would try to remember all those whom she had loved n who loved her ; pray for them wherever they are -dead or alive ,Dhri ,her brother,Dhai Ma, her children n Prikshit but then she thought she could hardly do anything for them as her whole life had been a rush of attending to the needs of her five husbands ,how ironic that none of them was with her in her final hour when she needed them most .She lay there left alone to die on a frozen hill.
It began to rain n she felt icy needles piercing her face ,the only part of her body which could feel sensation .To distract her mind from pain she settled her mind on KRISHANA .She remembered how he loved rain n how together they enjoyed watching the dancing peacocks in the rain.
'So finally you thought of me' ,She heard Krishana's soft .sweet voice near her but could not move her head or hands to see or touch Him.She thought she was imagining things but He told her she was not imagining , He was real n wanted to know what she was doing there .
She said she was dying n praying so that she was not taken to the Hell Fires .
Krishana asks her not to think about hell fires which is distressing ,instead to concentrate on the happy moments she had enjoyed in life .
"why have you come so late?" she asks
" But I have always been there whenever you remembered me "said Krishana
Draupadi considers the joyful moments of her life n finds one after the other these were only the most distressing times of her life n in all such time it was Krishana who had appeared with His captivating sweet smile ,soft voice n healing Presence which everytime made her joyful ,stood by ,energised n inspired her to move on in life .
He was always there with His unconditional love without any demands n unlike others without expecting her to behave or live in a particular way .
Going back in time she remembers a red Light pushing her out ,she was not in a room ,she had no name n no form n a soft voice asking her to go forth as it was her turn to go . She remembers how comfortable n safe she was as a part of that light n how hesitant to move n worried ,she had asked 'Can I change history ,what about the sins I would incur ,being the cause of so much devastation ?'
The voice gentle as a brook said 'You are the instrument and I am the Doer so no sin can touch you."
?"
'What if I forgot it ?"' said Draupadi
"You will probably forget ,most of them do .That is the beguiling trick that this world plays . You will suffer for that-or dream that you are suffering.But no matter ,at the time of death I will remind you.That will be enough." and with this somebody pushed her lovingly n the flame materialised as Draupadi.
She sees Him smiling .He is happy that she had made a connection.
'I did forget ,n made a mess of everything ,did'nt I 'She asks Him.
"You did what you were supposed to .Played your part perfectly.' He said.
Then she felt there was Light everywhere,total absence of darkness,mountain had vanished ,the air was full of figures of light ,with some effort she could recognise Kunti,her father,Dhai Ma ,Shikhandi,Drona ,Bheeshama, Duryodhan n four of her husbands n others -all smiling evincing the satisfaction of having played their roles well in great drama.
"Is this real or am I seeing things ?"she asked.
"Skeptical to the last !It is real ,you are going to have to learn a whole new vocabulary for the things you will be undergoing shortly.For now let me say that each person experiences this moment differently."says Krishana
"Am I dying? " asks Draupadi
'You could call it that, continues Krishana, you could also call it waking , or intermission between two acts.."
"Are you really divine "she asks finally the question that has been always bothering her all her life
.
'Will your questions ever end ?" Smilingly he answers," Yes I am n so you are,you know "
His words baffle her .with her body dissolving away,her thoughts fraying ,she felt that she was nothing.
Krishana touched her hand ,in fact those pinpricks of light which seemed like hand,at His touch something broke,a chain that was tied to that woman shaped body crumpled on the snow below.
She felt she was buoyant .expansive and uncontainable-but that she always was so ,only she never knew.
But more they dissuaded Draupadi to change her decision ,more determined she became ,that had always the problem with her she felt,to rebel against the boundaries prescribed for women by society.She wished for a sudden n clean end worthy of bard-song -' when she fell she did not weep but only raised her hands in brave farewell'.
Clad in beaten tree bark without any jewellary she gazed back Hastinapur one last time in farewell leaving behind wailing family ,friends n people,the palace,marble buldings ,blossomed beautiful trees but surprisingly all these things which would have made her happy in younger days did not move her ,she felt totally detached .The sages guided them to the base of the Himalayas.Beyond that only a person who had given up the world forever could enter.
The path was narrow n untravelled,cluttered with snow n slush.In a few hours her feet lacerated though they did not bleed because of the cold.She began to lose sensation in her feet,breathing became difficult,it was hard to advance ,to her feet from the snow that sucked them .She called her husbands but realized they gone far beyond her. Arjun was the farthest . Bheem n Yudhishtir heard her but as Bheem turned to get her ,Yudhishir held his hand n stopped to remind him the law that once on the path one could not retrace steps no matter what happened.Resentment flared up in her ,rules were always more important to him than humanity .
While taking the next step she flew into the air n fell a few arms away on a rock covered with snow ,she heard her husbands' crying out loud followed by a commotion,she could hear Yudhishtir, murmuring words of consolation but reminding them of their greater goal. It was infuriating n mortifying for her. She had five husband but none of them came near her. She believed they never loved her,nor did she love them though she had served them religiously . She felt had she married a man who loved her n whom she loved ,he would have been with her all thru her last hours till they both perished .Had she tried ,she might have got up n walked upto her husbands but what for ,to listen to another moral story !So she decided to lay there waiting for the end .
How should she spend the last hours of her life,she asked herself ?
Should she remember her past mistakes n practice contrition ? -no perhaps she had made too many errors she thought n there was hardly any time to reflect on all.
Should she forgive those who harmed her n seek forgiveness from those whom she had harmed but that would be a fatiquing exercise she thought ; n of what use , all of them are dead now.
She thought she would try to remember all those whom she had loved n who loved her ; pray for them wherever they are -dead or alive ,Dhri ,her brother,Dhai Ma, her children n Prikshit but then she thought she could hardly do anything for them as her whole life had been a rush of attending to the needs of her five husbands ,how ironic that none of them was with her in her final hour when she needed them most .She lay there left alone to die on a frozen hill.
It began to rain n she felt icy needles piercing her face ,the only part of her body which could feel sensation .To distract her mind from pain she settled her mind on KRISHANA .She remembered how he loved rain n how together they enjoyed watching the dancing peacocks in the rain.
'So finally you thought of me' ,She heard Krishana's soft .sweet voice near her but could not move her head or hands to see or touch Him.She thought she was imagining things but He told her she was not imagining , He was real n wanted to know what she was doing there .
She said she was dying n praying so that she was not taken to the Hell Fires .
Krishana asks her not to think about hell fires which is distressing ,instead to concentrate on the happy moments she had enjoyed in life .
"why have you come so late?" she asks
" But I have always been there whenever you remembered me "said Krishana
Draupadi considers the joyful moments of her life n finds one after the other these were only the most distressing times of her life n in all such time it was Krishana who had appeared with His captivating sweet smile ,soft voice n healing Presence which everytime made her joyful ,stood by ,energised n inspired her to move on in life .
He was always there with His unconditional love without any demands n unlike others without expecting her to behave or live in a particular way .
Going back in time she remembers a red Light pushing her out ,she was not in a room ,she had no name n no form n a soft voice asking her to go forth as it was her turn to go . She remembers how comfortable n safe she was as a part of that light n how hesitant to move n worried ,she had asked 'Can I change history ,what about the sins I would incur ,being the cause of so much devastation ?'
The voice gentle as a brook said 'You are the instrument and I am the Doer so no sin can touch you."
?"
'What if I forgot it ?"' said Draupadi
"You will probably forget ,most of them do .That is the beguiling trick that this world plays . You will suffer for that-or dream that you are suffering.But no matter ,at the time of death I will remind you.That will be enough." and with this somebody pushed her lovingly n the flame materialised as Draupadi.
She sees Him smiling .He is happy that she had made a connection.
'I did forget ,n made a mess of everything ,did'nt I 'She asks Him.
"You did what you were supposed to .Played your part perfectly.' He said.
Then she felt there was Light everywhere,total absence of darkness,mountain had vanished ,the air was full of figures of light ,with some effort she could recognise Kunti,her father,Dhai Ma ,Shikhandi,Drona ,Bheeshama, Duryodhan n four of her husbands n others -all smiling evincing the satisfaction of having played their roles well in great drama.
"Is this real or am I seeing things ?"she asked.
"Skeptical to the last !It is real ,you are going to have to learn a whole new vocabulary for the things you will be undergoing shortly.For now let me say that each person experiences this moment differently."says Krishana
"Am I dying? " asks Draupadi
'You could call it that, continues Krishana, you could also call it waking , or intermission between two acts.."
"Are you really divine "she asks finally the question that has been always bothering her all her life
.
'Will your questions ever end ?" Smilingly he answers," Yes I am n so you are,you know "
His words baffle her .with her body dissolving away,her thoughts fraying ,she felt that she was nothing.
Krishana touched her hand ,in fact those pinpricks of light which seemed like hand,at His touch something broke,a chain that was tied to that woman shaped body crumpled on the snow below.
She felt she was buoyant .expansive and uncontainable-but that she always was so ,only she never knew.
